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The First Realizations That
You're Not In College Anymore * You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed. * Beers at lunch get you reprimanded. * College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up. * Your parents charge rent. * The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal. * It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m. * Three words: Student Loan Payments. * You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche. * You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively. * THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans, and tonsil hockey; NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans. * Sleeping on the couch is a no-no. * Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m. * Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'. * Your salary is less than your tuition. * Your potted plants stay alive. * Having sex in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. * You keep more food than beer in the fridge. * You have to pay your own credit card bill. * Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal. * You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year. * You have to file for your own taxes. * You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work. * You're not carded anymore. * You carry an umbrella. * You learn that "Bachelor" is nicer term for a jackass. * "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary,which is a little less than your allowance used to be. * "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid and not married. * Your friends marry instead of hook-up; and divorce instead of break-up. * You start watching the weather channel. * Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe. * You can no longer do shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack. * You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. * You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run. * You go to parties that the police don't raid. * Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you. * You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore. * Your car insurance goes down. * You refer to college students as kids. * You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum. * Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren. * You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell. * Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one. * Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries. * The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol. * The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship. * You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News. * You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while in college. * You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams. * You empathize with the characters from 'Friends.' * METABOLISM SLOWDOWN * Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog. * You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. * Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food. * When drinking, you say at least once per night, "I just can't put it down the same way as I used to.' * Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games. * You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's not full of '21-year-old kids.' * Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly. |
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